*Max, 31- Can I Take Your Picture?
Pros:
Really handsome
Aged like fine wine
Flirty
Mysterious
Quiet confidence
Entrepreneurial king
Amazing friend
Sparks were flying
Cons:
Kind of an enigma
Not sure if he likes me?
Ya’ll voted and it was a close one.
This is a story of a date that never happened.
I had met Max many years ago. We went to college together and he was two grades above me. He was sweet, quiet, polite, very old money vibes. I hung out with his friends occasionally, so sometimes we’d be around each other. In college he had an on again off again girlfriend. His friends were a riot. So fun, always loved to go out, super social. He was definitely the quiet one. At least with me. He didn’t ever really speak more than 5 words to me at a time. If we bumped into each other at our college bar it was just, “Hey, nice to see you.”
At the time, he had a super gorgeous best friend, Leo. Girls would faint over him. Leo was insanely good looking and a huge flirt. He had this big personality that sometimes overshadowed Max. Honestly, I wanted to jump Leo’s bones. (And I did jump Leo’s bone. A few times.) I mean, it was collegeee, it was casual. We were young and horny. Were you a saint in college?? Whatever- besides the point. Leo and I were friends, and still remain friends to this day, but I could never really get a read on Max. Was he cool with me? Did he not like me? I was friends with most of his friends, but he always felt distant… a little cold. Anyway, Max was always good looking too! Tall, blonde, blue eyes, and fantastic hair. But I have to say… he definitely aged like fine wine. Just got better and better with time.
Over the years, after he graduated, and I graduated, I think I saw him like once or twice in a group. He was friendly, but still reserved. He just never really opened up to me. It was very clear that we have mutual friends but we were not friends. Which is fine, not everyone is gonna wanna be my friend. But also like, what the hell is wrong with you? JKKKK… lol…
Fast forward a few years and Max is completely off my radar. He’s like a distant acquaintance.
So now that you have the background- Let’s get to the night we met again.
Who asked to take the picture? Him?? You?? You will get your answer by the end of this story my chiquitas.
It all started with an invitation to a party.
I had just, and I mean JUST moved back to Lugano when my friend Serena texted me. Serena is a BADDIE. I always call her a hot guy magnet because she’s surrounded by at least 4 extremely hot guys at all times. Partially due to her beauty, and partially due to her magnetic personality. Back in the day we were partners in crime club. We always had the best time.
Serena’s 30th Birthday Party
The big 30, in Paris!! PARIS!
Serena: And yes there is place for you to stay
Her and her fabulous gay bff, Chip, had me covered. I had met Chip previously through her and absolutely adore him. HE WAS GIVING ME HIS BED AND HE WOULD SLEEP ON HIS COUCH.
Serena: So you better bloody well be coming
Me: Hahaha omg that is true love wow 🫶🏼🫶🏼
Me: I have a friend coming to stay with me end of Feb and through March. Can I bring a plus 1!? If it’s just me I’m totally staying with you/chip but I can find a place to stay with her. She’s fun af
Guess which friend it was. Come on guessss!! Guess! If you’ve read even one of my blogs you would know who it is.
Her name starts with Juli and ends with -ah.
Julia. My unofficial roommate that lives in LA but spends a ridiculous amount of time with me in Switzerland.
Me: I literally have no days off work but I will literally come for a day trip for you
I mean, I hadn’t even started working yet. I hadn’t accrued a single vacation day. But if you think I’ll only jump on a plane for a guy and not my friends, ya craaaazyyy. 24 hours in Paris? I’ve done crazier shit.
Serena: Hello Chip speaking. Yes to everything, we’ll find accommodation for you two that’ll be fine the thing is having you here!
See how good friends show up for each other? Very mindful, very thoughtful. (in Demure influencer’s voice).
Me: Omg my king 😭❤️ how can I say no to this!?!? Reunionnnnnnnnnn
Me: Holy shit it’s gonna be fun. Okay I’m sold 🤷🏽♀️ count me in
Serena: Can’t wait babe
Serena: Have you officially moved now??
Me: Just got to lugs today!!!!! Just a few hours ago!!
So there I was, not even 5 hours in Europe and got my first party invitation. I’m so BACK.
The party was in March so I had some time to settle in and at least had something to look forward to. Julia came at the end of Feb and made my house feel like a home. I can’t remember if I already said this but we were roommates in college and when we’re together it’s like nothing’s changed. So Julia’s little sister followed in her footsteps and decided to go to our same little uni in Lugano, and she really, realllyyy wanted us to go out with her.
Me: To the college bar?………..yea… no
Julia: It’ll be fun, we used to love it
Me: That was a million years ago! And we already started hating it before we even graduated… Julie, I do nottt wanna be around a bunch of 18 year olds, please
Julia: Come on my sister reallly wants us to go out with her. Pleaseeeee
Me: We have a flight tomorrow morning…
Julia: We can just go for a bit
Me: Ugh.. fine
One bar turned into two, turned into three, turned into us going to the club. Okay we really did relive our college days. But… we can’t survive off of minimal sleep and go straight from the club to the airport like we used to. Yes this was something many of us did. We went to school in Switzerland and most of our families didn’t live in Switzerland. So summer break? Winter break? Finishing finals… one last hoorah with your friends at the club before you leave each other for a few weeks. But we can’t do that anymore and still function. We got back and slept for not even 1 hour before we had to leave for the airport. We f*cked around and found out. Omg, I was dying. DYINGGG.
We got to Milan Malpensa airport in roughh shape. Ugly, dehydrated and sleep deprived. We sat on the floor and charged our phones as we waited to board. I looked at Julia.
“We are way too old for that”
“I know…”
The thing is, even when you’re absolutely miserable, when you’re with your best friends, you’re somehow still having a fun.
Chip: Hola! Hope you’re ready for London!!! Let me know if you need me to get you guys anything before you arrive, but room is ready for you!… Message me with updates once you land, see you in a bit!
Me: Hi king!! We might need to run to boots to get some shampoo and conditioner and a little facewash. (we obviously got a basic economy ticket and couldn’t bring our bottles). Other than that we are good!!… I’ll text you and keep you updated! Thank you sooo much for everything again! 🫶🏼We’re waiting to board now
Chip: Nayomi please this is a gay flat we have hair care and skin care aplenty, unless you want your specific brands hah sounds amazing, keep me posted and have a safe flight!
Iconic. 💅✨
Anyway, we got in without much time to get ready, so we had to get straight to it. It was a heavy makeup kind of day. Had to cake on the concealer because, hunny, my eye bags were designer. I was so sleep deprived I really regretted going out the night before. Now that I survived it, I have no regrets and got a good story out of it. That’s how I approach most things. So anyway, come March, I wasn’t really dating anyone, I wasn’t even talking with anyone. But I would still get the occasional text from Logan or Jamie or Sebastian telling me to visit him in Madrid. There was really nothing going on in my love life besides the remnants of ex flings past. I hadn’t met anyone in my first quarter in Lugano. I wasn’t really hoping to meet someone, it didn’t even cross my mind. But it was kinda fun that it was always a possibility. Serena the hot guy magnet must have hot guys attending her party! I do think if you’re single, you have to make it a point to get out there in the world and meet people who aren’t a part of your regular life bubble. We need to expand the dating pool a bit.
Anyway, Julia had I played “Waiting for Love” by Avicii for an hour on repeat while we got ready because that was the song we were hyper fixating on at the moment. We somehow caught a second wind and felt energized and ready to take Paris by storm. (Why do I feel like we’re the modern day Mary-Kate and Ashley lol). Julia and Nayomi take Paris. Julia and Nayomi take Ibiza. Julia and Nayomi take Barcelona. Julia and Nayomi take Florence. I could keep going but I feel like this is getting annoying.
We of course took longer to get ready, so we met Serena and Chip at the venue. She had rented out the basement floor of a really cute bar. We walked in and said hi to her parents who are also f*cking iconic. I introduced Julia to a few of Serenas other friends I met the last time I visited her. And of course, there in the crowd, was Max.
Max: Hey Nayomi, nice to see you
I gave him a hug.
Max!! So nice to see you too!
Max: You look really good!
A compliment? From Max?? Max that never even really talks to me? Am I dreaming? How sleep deprived am I.
Thank you!! You do too! Gosh when was the last time I saw you? Had to be when we went to Como right?
It was like 3 years earlier.
Max: Yeah! That was a fun day. So what are you up to now? Are you back?
Asking me questions? Actually leading a conversation?? Is this the same person?
I told him I’d just moved back to Lugano in January and started a new job. blablabla, typical catch up convo.
Max: That’s great, glad to have you back.
I asked about what he’s been up to, and where he’s based now. Turns out he moved to Zurich and he started his own company. He’s always been very entrepreneurial, even back in college. I can’t remember what he does lol, but I know from Serena he was doing quite well.
Me: Yayy, I’m so happy to hear! And I’ve heard Zurich is such a fun city.
Max: It is! Have you been?
Me: Lol, never. I know it’s so bad, it’s so close to Lugano but I just go to Italy every chance I get (laughing)
Max: You have to come! I’m there, come! I’ll show you around.
WOAHHHH whereeeee is this coming from.
Me:I have a few friends there I have to visit so it’s definitely on my list
Max: I have your number right?
Me: Uhhhh… I think you have my old Swiss one. I have a Spanish one now… dont ask lol
We exchanged numbers and talked on and off the rest of the night. You know when a guy puts his hand in your lower back and leans in closer to you to hear you?………. It was like that.
Me: You know, honestly Max, I was never really sure how you felt about me. I’m so close with Leo and Serena, and they’re two of your closest friends, but I kinda thought you hated me (laughing). I just couldn’t get a read on you.
What!? Hated y- what? No, I never hated hated you. No I always liked when you were around.
Me: Reallyyy???? I did nooooot get that.
Yeah!
Me: Oh, okay! That’s good to know. I just didn’t know why you never talked to me.
No, no… it had nothing to do with hating you. Back then you a little thing with Leo. I just try to not get involved or mixed up with things when it comes to my friends. So that’s why maybe I kept some space.
Me: THAT’S the reason!?? Oh… well, I can see that. Even if there wasn’t really anything to get mixed up in. Leo and I were (mostly) just friends… but I get it.
I mean I do get it. He’s very drama free, and I guess he didn’t want to end up in an entanglement. (Lol, Jada…. girl…….)
I swear, this blog could one day be studied as a historical reference. A living chronicle of cultural semiotics, capturing the linguistic, comedic, and referential frameworks that shape how we interpret and engage with the world today. It archives the pop culture touchstones of this era before they evolve or fade.
Wait… Am I … an ~intellectuaaal?
Max: Well anyway, that was a long time ago
He leaned into my ear.
Max: I don’t hate you.
Flirtyy…
Anyway, Julia was mixing and mingling, talking to other people at the bar. We always did an eye contact check in. You know, when your friends are like telepathic. We instinctively walked up to each other to do a debrief.
Julia: OooOoo… are you into it?
Me: I dunno… we’re just talking. He’s cute though.
I mean just cuz he didn’t hate me doesn’t mean he liked me.
At some point in the night between the speeches, and the dancing, we had to get some pics with the birthday girl. Serena, Chip, Max and I all posed together. Julia was gracious enough to snap some pics on my phone, and one of their other friends used the polaroid camera that was there for the party.
Serena, in her tipsy glory goes, “No one’s using this polaroid! Max I’m putting you in charge of taking pictures.”
It was a cute idea. I love that there was something that we could keep as souvenirs, little memories, and Serena could have these organic, unfiltered moments from her party. You know I’m sentimental- I’m documenting my life so I can read it back as a 70 year old.
Anyway, max took his job seriously. He was is an incredible friend to her. I think him and Chip were responsible for Serena’s phone, wallet, keys, and making sure she got home safely. Actually it’s one of the things that makes him even more attractive. He is a great, great friend. He absolutely adores Serena. The kind of guy that treats the women in his life like princesses, are responsible, safe… I mean, green flags, where do I sign up.
Anyway, we had an incredible time, but the sleep deprivation was staring to hit. Julia and I were ready to head back. It was like almost 24 hours that we were awake, I don’t even know how we were functioning. We started doing our rounds to say bye to people.
Max was snapping some pics as night was wrapping up. People were picking up the pictures they wanted to take home with them out of the little basket they were in. It was so cute looking through other people’s pictures while finding your own.
Max: Can I take your picture?
Is he talking to me?
Me: (slightly confused) Yeah! With you? Or..
Max: No just of you!
Me: Oh no! I don’t need one ahaha, I’m good.
I mean I thought he was just being nice and offering to get a pic of me.
Max: Not for you, for me!
Me: What? You want a picture of me?
Max: Yes
Me: (skeptical and confused) You want to keep a picture… of just me?
Max: (laughing) yes!
….
Me: mmm.. Oookay (laughing)
I smiled, and he took my polaroid picture.
I mean, that picture was gonna get dumped in the basket with the rest of them, and probably never see the light of day again. I mean I highly doubt he’s gonna take it with him out of this busy bar, pack it in his suitcase, and take it all the way back to Zurich. But whatever, it was a cute thought anyway.
We waited a few seconds for the photo to develop. He fanned the picture to speed up the process. I have to say he looked quite hot doing that.
We leaned in and checked the picture…
Me: Eh, not bad
Max: You look great
I mean he was sooo sweet and charismatic, but also… is he drunk!?? Is he being this flirty with everyone? Are my pheromones just working overtime today??
Me: It was reallyyy really nice catching up
Max: Yes definitely, let me know when you come to Zurich. We’ll do something.
Me: Yeah, I will!
I mean it’s not like he asked me out. ‘Let me know when you’re in town’ is very different from an actual invitation. I mean, it’s just something a friend would say.
So I guess we graduated from acquaintances to friends.
I gave him a hug-
and…. well let me first describe what I was wearing. Black leather pants and a black asymmetrical one shoulder top. So one arm had a sleeve and the other arm… didn’t.
So, I gave him a hug, and he bend down tucked his head in the nook of my neck, and wrapped his arms around me really tight. It was a really, really good hug.
And he kissed my shoulder.
My eyes opened all way the f*cking up. omgomgomg.
Whaaat is happening.
That was literally so hot.
Julia: did he just kiss your shoulder?
I was like holding my breath- in shock. I just squeezed her hand and said I’d tell her outside lol.
Ummmmmmmmmmm… back to my questions. Is he drunk!?? Is he being this flirty with everyone? Are my pheromones just-
You get it.
Anyway, Julia and I flew back to Lugano the next day. And in the weeks following there was some… minimal contact.
There was a time I had just recovered from being really sick and was kind of bored and thought it would be fun to do a weekend trip. But he sent me a picture of his covid test. I sent him a picture of mine back, “same, I just finally started to feel better.”
There was another time I had a free weekend since Julia was out of town with her sister so I texted him but he had visitors.
Max: “This weekend I have guests and tomorrow we are going to Geneva. Let’s catch up for next weekend?”
Me: I’m out of town next weekend! Let’s do something when I get back!
Looking back at these texts, I realize, I never wrote him when I got back. But he never circled back either so…
Eh, whatever. It kind of just never happened. For whatever reason. Maybe he just wasn’t that into it, maybe he was just in a flirty, fun, party mood, maybe he was seeing someone else, or maybe he just didn’t want to end up in a blog. Who knows.
But it’s tooootallyyy fine. You’re gonna have plenty of these “prospective” dates that turn into nothing.
I guess, in sales terms, not every lead is qualified. Some seem promising but aren’t actually interested or ready to commit. Some leads go cold, some were never serious to begin with, and some just aren't the right fit. But without leads, there are no conversions. And without putting yourself out there, there are no dates.
Sometimes it’ll work out, sometimes it won’t. But you definitely miss every shot you don’t take.
Anyway, out of pure curiosity I texted him.
Me: So did you actually keep that photo?
He texted me back a picture of him holding it.
Max: Of course I did
No way….
You know…. even if this really turned into nothing, I do think it’s really cute that even though I still haven’t been to Zurich, my little polaroid picture lives there.
Dating 101 Key Take Aways:
Not every spark turns into a flame. Dating is a numbers game. The key is to keep giving yourself opportunities to meet people- because without leads, there are no conversions. And without putting yourself out there, there are no dates.
