*Carter, 34-The Group Date
Pros:
Surgeon
Great friends
Modest
Spontaneous
Likes to travel
Flexible work schedule
Cons:
No romantic chemistry
Didn’t ask if I was hungry
His second group date…WTF
It was a Monday night and I had just sat down in my pajamas to watch the last few episodes of Grace & Frankie. I had been tending to my Bumble matches more and leaving my Hinge “hearts” neglected. That’s something I like about Hinge- I can go through people who already “hearted” me first. (A dating pool of people already into me- love it). I start going through the Hinge guys and scanning their profiles… ick, cringe, no, absolutely not… and then I come across Carter. Carter was cute- subtly handsome. Olive skin, strong eyebrows, hazel eyes, black wavy hair, nice smile, 5’11 and good build. I keep scrolling…
Maxillofacial Surgeon…what the hell is a Maxillofacial Surgeon? Am I supposed to know what that is? Thank God for Google. Basically, a Maxilliofacial Surgeon specializes in facial reconstructive surgery and handles a bunch of surgeries that have to do with the face, head, neck, and mouth. They do cosmetic procedures as well. OoooOoh, that’s impressive…hot! Not only that, but if I need some work done in the future… this really could work out great for me.
I go through his profile more.
I want someone who: Appreciates spontaneity!
Okay, I like it. That’s my vibe…
We start chatting about how he’s never had Sri Lankan food, and I let him know how much he’s missing out.
C: “Omg I’m down. Tonight?! Haha I’m very spontaneous btw lol”
Me: “I’m probably more spontaneous than you. I have some stories”
C: “Lies! I’m out now. Drinks?”
Well damn…I’m all for seizing an opportunity, being direct, and asking for what you want….but I was already in pajamas and just put in my sushi order on UberEats. Chances of me leaving the house were slim.
C: “I’m at Barcelona [Wine Bar] with some friends. If you wanna come by”
Me: “I’ve heard such good things about Barcelona! It’s been on my list to check out. I’ll probably put myself in a sushi coma tonight but down to meet up another time! I leave for Jordan this week but I’ll be back early July!”
C: “Early July?! Ughhh spontaneous my *peach emoji”
Did this man just peach emoji me? Oh HELLLLLLL no.
Me: “Screw it, I’m bored, calling an uber”
I had 15 minutes to change, throw on some makeup and put my poor uneaten sushi in the fridge. He checked with me that I was fine that his friends were there and I said I’m fine as long as they’re fine.
I get to Barcelona and wow, the place was really poppin’. He flags me down and introduces me to his friends. One guy from New Zealand doing a USA tour, and a few girl friends from DC. They were all really really cool. The guys get the table a round of drinks and I start chatting with the girls. One girl is asking me about Sri Lanka, another girl is bonding with me over Grace & Frankie…even the guy from New Zealand and I were vibing about traveling. At a certain point, I’m realizing I’m talking to everyone more than I’m talking to him. I mean he didn’t make any effort to talk to me either but… maybe he’s shy?
I scoot my boot a bit closer to him and ask about his job. I was honestly so intrigued.
Me: “Can I see pictures?” (I mean how often do you casually have a surgeon sitting in front of you)
C: “Are you sure? They’re pretty intense”
This stuff was crazyyyyy. Doctors are real life super heroes. Bullet wound to the face, shattered skull, a mouth tumor… and this man literally PUTS PEOPLE BACK TOGETHER. Wow. Wowowowow. So much respect.
Me: “That’s literally incredible. Not only are you medically healing someone, but you’re also giving them their confidence back. I mean it’s their face, you can’t just throw some stiches on it, you really have to make sure that it looks good when it heals. Must be really rewarding work.”
C: “Yeah but I’ve been doing it so long I don’t really think about it”
Humble- yes…. but-
SIR…take the compliment, I’m trying to flirt with you. (uuuuffff)
We talk a bit more about his journey to becoming a surgeon. How he had to do dental school, and then medical school, and then residency. How it was a long road of hard work but now he’s really enjoying life. Working basically 3 days a week and taking a week off. And honestly, as he should!! We talked about how he likes to travel on his off weeks. Ding ding- wow, imagine dating someone with such a flexible schedule. South Africa, I’m dying to go to South Africa. I know I’m not the only one that imagines a full blown future with someone I just met. And I didn’t even like the guy (romantically).
I scoot my boot back to the friends. The conversation was honestly just flowing better with them. After a while a new group of girls joins us. I’m saying my hellos, and joke that I’m the first date girl. One of the girls who just got there laughs and says “Really?” Yes really! She looked so confused. “I can’t tell if this is a joke.”
Was she just surprised with how ~fun and spontaneous this group date was? Then she goes…. “Again?”
Again??? Again, what?!! I’m lost. I start panning over the table to get everyone’s reaction like a freaking episode of That 70’s Show.
I look at Carter, palm towards the sky, jaw on the ground… giving her the “Why the f would you throw me under the bus like that” look. The friends are giving looks to each other… the kind of looks you give when someone says something they aren’t supposed to.
Me: “Hold on- Has he brought girls on group dates before???” LOLLL
Okay, it got weird. I’m good at playing things off though so I just started laughing. “Is this like a thing that you do!??”
C: “No, no. It was just one time!”
Honestly I didn’t care much. At that point I already knew we didn’t have a romantic connection, and all I could think about was the sushi in my fridge. One of the girls (as if she could read my mind), asks if I ate anything. I whispered no, I’m freaking starving!! By then the kitchen was closed. “CARTER! You didn’t feed her!?” I’m an adult, I could have ordered, but they all already ate and I wasn’t gonna eat alone. It would have been nice if he just asked if I ate or if I was hungry. He assumed I already ate- but boys, if you’re reading this, be a gentleman and ask. Did I have a weird fantasy that there would be some amazing tapas and we’d be snacking and drinking in European fashion? Yeah…
Me to me: Ya played yourself girl
Anyway, we’re nearing the end of the night and I’m really getting along super well with all of his friends. They said that even if I don’t date their friend, we should keep hanging out, and to let them know when I’m back from my vacation. They decide we should all take a picture together. I tell them I’m more than happy to take a picture of their friend group, I don’t need to be in it.
“No Nayomi, you are SO funny and cool. We wanna remember this night”
I didn’t even get a compliment like that from my date, but his friends had me covered!!
We took a bunch of photos and they asked if they could follow me on Instagram. Obviously I said yes! Bam bam bam bam bam, all the requests pop up on my phone- I love these people.
I called my Uber, said my goodbyes (to my real dates- all his friends), and Carter walked me to the car. We hugged and I said thanks for the drinks and the fun night! I don’t think either of us expected to keep talking or seeing each other.
You know that follow up text you want after a date? Just that little message that says it was nice meeting you? ALL of his friends sent me a DM on Instagram. We all posted our group pic on our stories. A fantastic memory of a really fun night.
My new Kiwi friend even told me that one of his friends asked who I was after seeing the group photo. I knew my degree in International Marketing would come in handy one day.
*Looks up flights to New Zealand
Dating 101 Key Take Aways:
Be open, not only to romantic connections but to friendships as well. You can meet some really cool people.
Also eat before meeting up for drinks.
(The friends mentioned in this story follow my blog and have been so supportive. Shoutout to them!)
