*Jamie, 27- Lisbon Lover: Part 3
Pros:
SO funny and goofy
Super attractive (Blonde surfer vibe)
Insane chemistry
Really nice
Knows good restaurants
Organic connection
Amazing dancer
Gentleman
Assertive
BDE
Cons:
Not the best communicator
Well… as promised…
The highly anticipated…. Lisbon lover: Part 3.
(This will make more sense if you’ve read Sebastian Part 2 btw… there was some Jamie content in there.)
Don’t roll your eyes at me!!
Fine… I’ll give you a sparknotes version. But if you want the details, or to ~refresh your memory, go back a blog. (The magic really is in the details.)
So anyway-
Jamie texted me when I was in Comporta, and said that he wanted to see me again before I left Europe (mm… sure Jan, I’ll believe it when I see it). It was a bummer- cuz I was leaving Lisbon the morning he was flying back from London, so…. the timing just didn’t work out for us. Would’ve been perfect.
Anyway, I got a little Airbnb right near the airport. My flight was at like 10-something, so I had planned on leaving at like 7. Around 5, I hear my phone buzz. (As much as I love traveling, I always have some travel anxiety the night before a flight, so it’s like the only time I would call myself a light sleeper). I reached over and grabbed my phone… Maybe my flight was delayed or something…
Jamie?
…..
What the f*ck?…
J: I think you should miss your flight tomorrow and take it on Tuesday
OOOOOOHHKKAAAAYY- shoot your shot Jamie.
Me: Are you still drunk from Carnival (Joking emoji)
J: Hahaha slightly. But I stand by what I say
Me: I leave for the airport in 2 hours, that’s not happening (little smug face emoji)
J: Well you have a free house to stay. That’s not so bad.
Me: The house was nice
J: Indeed
Me: But not missing my 300$ flight nice
J: I’ll pay for your flight Tuesday to Italy
Sheeeeeeeesshhhhhh………. Uhh...
Do you know how f*cking HOT it is when a guy wants something and just goes for it, and does whatever he needs to do to make it happen? Extremely hot.
Do you know how good your p**** has to be for a guy to just offer up a flight? I assume pretty damn good. (Painted nails emoji and sparkle emoji @ myself)
Okay, now we’re talking. Should’ve lead with that. But still… I wasn’t gonna ditch my friends. I was meeting up with 3 of my girls in Rome, and I wanted to see them! I told him that normally it would’ve worked, but unfortunately, I’d have to decline.
He was chill about it. He took it fine.
I mean, I wished he asked me earlier! Like if I had some time to talk to my friends in advance, then I wouldn’t have to cancel on them last minute.
J: It’s one day
Me: I hate when people cancel on me last minute
J: One day though….
Uuuuuff… it’s really hard to say no to someone something you want to do.
Me: You know I really wish I could. I thought about it a lot… I had so much fun with you. But I’m not gonna bail on my friends (prayer hands emoji)
J: Fair enough (kissy face emojis)
UGHHHHHHHHHHH…. I WANTED to stay. It was just one day. I mean, I would never leave one friend alone in another city…. but it was 3 girls. They would have been fine… AAAnd, I had a few more days to spend with them. And just one opportunity to see Jamie again. After my friends wedding, the girls and I were going to Venice, and flying back to America from there. It was basically now or never. Sometimes I wish I didn’t always feel so guilty, or worry so much about letting other people down. (It’s something I’m actively working on now.)
I sent Jamie a picture of my reflection in bed. I was covering my face… (I was unexpectedly woken up at 5 am- I didn’t look so great… and the flash was really bright).
Me: This mirror in front of my bed made me think of you though (joking emoji). So you were in my thoughts at least
J: [R rated content]
We joked a bit… but I told him despite how good the dancing was… I liked spending time with him because he made me laugh. And that’s the truth… he just made me feel happy… silly… light. Like he really was a person I just liked to be around.
He sent me a few sweet messages. They were really nice… (I know some of you are #teamseb now after his absolutely moving message, but Jamie can be sweet too… in a different way.)
But I think some things I’ll keep just for me. Or keep between me and Jamie.
It’s funny, I’ve thought so much about what to share in this blog; how much I want to say… and obviously I’m sharing some of the more risqué parts of my life… but what I feel the need to protect, are the more emotional parts. I mean.. just because I have this blog and am baring my emotions to the world, doesn’t mean the other person signed up for that. (Sorry Seb, that message was literally too good not to share…..ethical dilemma). Anyway… I always go back and read whenever I write, and I love coming across messages I forgot about. Especially the ones that flooded my brain with serotonin…
Me: Happy mistake bumping into you
….
J: Well if you miss your flight for some reason you know who to call
Me: I would have called you anyway, you’re my only friend in the city
J: Haha… fair
Me: (Heart emoji) I am happy you asked me to stay [Jamie’s real first and middle name]
J: You’ll be even happier if you stay when I’m asking you now
F***CK.
This guy must be f*cking amazing at his job. He’s persistent, knows when to push, knows when to take his foot off the gas, and knows when to go in for the kill. He applies just the right amount of pressure, at just the right time… and boom-
I cracked like a f*cking egg.
Me: Okay I checked flights (shy monkey emoji)
J: Tell me
Me: 1) they are super expensive 2) the flight times suck
J: So it’s a yes?
Me: What part of that was a yes (laughing emoji)
J: Ahaha I’ll take it as a yes. Booking your flight now.
Damn, YOU KNOW this guy is good at his job.
Me: Yeah right lol. One hour on the clock before I go to the airport (laughing emoji).
J: We’ll see (eyeroll emoji)
Me: This is crazy… There’s one decent flight but wayyyyy too expensive
J: How much
Me: Trust me, too much.
Well.. I told him…..
J: Uffffff
I was so expecting him to tap out. Like it was very expensive for a one way ticket. Like stupid expensive.
Me: I mean.. it is for tomorrow, so I can’t say I’m surprised (nervous laugh emoji)
J: You wanna fly first class
Me: What (laughing emoji)
Me: Are you trying to convince me
J: Ahahaha yes
Me: It’s working
J: Perfect. Meeting you tomorrow then.
Ohhhhh…. It’s giving Big. D*ck. Energy. (BDE).
AHHHH- (*my little high pitched squeal)
He’s hot- check. Funny- check. Assertive- check. I am SOOO into this.
J: Send me the flight and your deets
Oh my God…. He’s booking this for me. Guys- it’s not just that he was gonna pay for the flight. I mean- yes, hot. But I don’t think you know how much it meant to me that he was actually gonna book it for me. I’m always the one planning trips for my friends. I’m always the one booking things. For my ex, I did ev-er-y-thingggg when it came to travel. I was always sitting there, writing his passport details in. It meant sooooo much to me that someone was gonna do it for me. Just take care of it, so I didn’t have to.
I waited for him to send me a confirmation or something.
……………………….
hm….
Me: ?
After a while… he didn’t send anything back….
………………….
…………
Oh you’ve gotta be f*cking kidding me.
….. I knowww this guy did not wake me up at 5 am, convince me to stay, get me actually genuinely excited…. and then fall asleep on me…….
-_-
you must be f*cking joking.
Like, really? ARE YOU KIDDINGG??? Cue clown music. How could I be so stupid. Why did I let myself get excited? Remember when I said “I’ll believe it when I see it”? Well, I believed it before I saw it. And look at me now- Dumbass.
UGHHH. I felt such a mix of emotions. It’s one of those things that I externally would pretend to brush off and act like I didn’t care. Like guy’s don’t have the power to phase me. But… I did care. It’s not that I was devastated that I wouldn’t see him or anything. I mean of course I wanted to see him. But it’s deeper than that. I let myself get excited that someone would pull through for me the way I pull through for others- and I was let down.
And that sucked…
I was obviously irritated. But I wasn’t like mad at him. I don’t tend to get mad (almost ever) if I don’t believe there’s a bad intention. And I knew he wasn’t like f*cking with me and ghosting me. Like the guy was up late partying and fell asleep. But still- I’m a huge believer of “if he wanted to, he would.” And if he doesn’t, he doesn’t want it enough. (This is in general, not specific to Jamie). But let me tell you- you think if these guys convinced Megan Fox to stay, and said they would book her another flight… they aren’t gonna tape their eyelids open until it’s done?? They would. The sheer excitement would keep them awake. Like how did that conversation give me so much adrenaline… but he fell asleep……? After convincing ME to stay???
Me: … I’m gonna get ready for the airport
I mean, I was bummed for sure… but I wasn’t gonna miss my flight without having another one booked. I’m not crazy. (Or desperate). For all I know, maybe he was blacked out during that whole conversation… who knows??
… I knew he was gonna wake up at some point and message me. On the surface, I was thinking to myself, how could you fumble this bag?? Are you joking? Boy Bye. But… I hate to admit, I was also thinking- please message me before I get in this Uber. Please message before I check in this bag. Again, these are like my deepest internal thoughts. The most embarrassing ones. As much as I put off this bad b*tch energy and present kind of hard shell to the world, internally, I’m actually a lot softer than I like to admit. And as embarrassing as these confessions are, I wanna let the girls, (even guys), know… I’ve felt those things too. I mean, would I have even stayed if he messaged me so last minute? I feel like that would dent my pride too much. I mean anyway, us girls have to be okay with doing our own thing. And I was! I was still gonna go meet my fabulous friends and have a great time in Rome. And I was not going to let this get me down. Whatever- if he liked me enough he’d be running through the airport.
I’m kidding, lol!!! But I mean- it is a bit crazy that that’s a narrative that’s been shoved down our throats from romcoms.
Anyway… I was at my gate, in line, waiting to board.
Well I guess this is it… He didn’t message me. This is how I’m leaving Portugal….
Bit of a downer, but that’s okay.
I was inching my way up this sh*tty line for this easyjet flight. And just as I hand the woman my passport……
Jamie texts me.
J: Whaaaat
J: I fell asleep. Did you leave
Ugh.. how can you be so happy to hear from someone, and so annoyed at the same time.
You convinced me to stay once… it’s not gonna happen twice.
I texted back right before I lost wifi.
Me: Boarding
TO BE CONTINUED…..
Dating 101 Key Take Aways:
… Girls, if he wanted to, he would. And he didn’t. The sooner you swallow that pill, the better.
