*Sebastián, 37- The Spaniard: Part 2 (ft. Jamie)
Pros:
Consent King
Gentleman
SO NICE
Patient
Respectful
Pro PDA
Affectionate
Great style
Same love languages
Successful & loves his job
Cons:
Took some time to feel a connection
Language barrier
Bit clingy
Well, I stayed.
It wasn’t anything crazy… we just slept. I was in a sweater since Comporta weirdly gets kind of chilly at night (but come morning it’s hot again). I woke up totally overheated- a mix of my sweater, the hot air from outside and another human pressed up against me. I took off my sweater, still half asleep. I think guys just wake up naturally charged anyway… so at the first sign of skin contact, Seb is wide awake and in European lover mode.
S: Buenos días princesa
Me: Good morning…
S: You sleep well?
Me: Yeah, really well (I wanted to sleep more lol)
He was kissing my face, my neck.. shoulders. It was really sweet and playful. But for some reason… my head was just somewhere else. (I just knew the feeling I had waking up next to Jamie… and this felt… different).
I kind of half sat up and leaned on the headboard. I looked down... and ohh, my tummy was all roly-poly. Listen, I’m all for body positivity, female empowerment, ra ra ra… but of course, I’m human too, with my own insecurities. Obviously it can feel very… vulnerable being so ~exposed. (You also have to understand that I was with one person for 8 years). I very quickly tried to sit up straighter...
S: You’re so f*cking sexy…
Me: Mmm… I could be in better shape :P
S: Huh? Noooo…. No…
I pinched my stomach… (In a joking way)
S: Nononononoooo…. It’s the body of a woman… it’s perfecttttt.. But really, PERFECT.
(Okay I would not personally call it perfect… but… sure, I’ll take it)
He literally grabbed my stomach and kissed it repeatedly while I laughed.
AHHH…. king energy. (It’s not that we neeeed validation from anyone to feel good about ourselves… but it’s definitely nice to hear….)
His dogs ran in through the door that was cracked open (they slept in the main house, and we were in the guest house). They were so tiny, just jumping on the side of the bed trying to get up. He picked them all up and put them on the bed. He was hugging them and kissing them.
S: Mi Vidaaaa…. Te amo.. Mi vida
It was really endearing how much he loved those dogs. Not to sound like Cruella de Vil, but I couldn’t believe he put the dogs with their sandy paws on the bed. (I have sensory issues and a love/hate relationship with sand). Whatever, not my bed, not my problem. He was texting his friends to get the plan for the day. It was beach picnic day… ooooh fabulous! We started to get ready and he tried on a few different outfits. He asked me which one I liked best. He was a sharp dresser for sure. He tried on different combinations of accessories, changed his sunglasses a few times, got my opinion. Changed his watch since I said I liked the green one better. I looked at it a bit closer… Oh.. it’s the “Hulk” Rollie on his wrist.
Hm, I still don’t know what he does for a living…….. must ask today.
I threw on my swimsuit, short green flower print dress, and my favorite beach accessory… my seashell anklet (!), and was ready to go! I asked Seb and his friends if Emilio could join us for the picnic. Emilio took the day off work to hang out with me, I wasn’t gonna ditch him. Of course they said it was fine. We got to the beach and the guys put down the umbrella, the picnic basket and some blankets. The picnic basket was full of bread and some gourmet seafood thing… idk… like little sea creatures I’ve never seen before. I literally did not know what I was eating lol. They were all teasing me saying it was like turtle d*ck or whatever. Sebastian would laugh and say “no of course it’s not,” and would take a bite to show me it’s safe for consumption (lol), and then feed me a bite. Anyway, we were just hanging out on the beach. I was playing with his dogs and he got such cute pictures of me. (He really adored me.)
Me: You know… I still don’t know… what you do.. for work..
Turns out he’s one of the founders of a very successful Spanish clothing brand….
He gave me the whole backstory… how him and his partners came up with the idea… told me how much he loves his job, how he works a lot, but doesn’t mind because he’s so passionate about it. …. how he considers himself very lucky that it took off into such a success. I loved that he was passionate about his work. I feel like work drains the life out of so many people. It’s really nice to talk to someone that’s energized by what they do. Oh- well I guess it makes sense why he’s such a sharp dresser.
(I thought it was interesting that on the apps, one of the first things you know about someone is what they do for work… and with Seb, it was like the last thing I learned about him.)
Emilio showed up a bit later to the beach. I was so happy to see him. He’s literally such a good friend, and I really hadn’t seen him or spent time with him in years. I’m like “Emi…. have you heard of [brand]?? Apparently he’s one of the founders….” (Seb had told me that they had a pretty good presence in Portugal, as well as a few other countries).
Emilio is like, “no way” and pulls out his jeans from his backpack that were literally from the brand. Seb’s face lit up. After a few hours, Seb and his friends were gonna head back to the villa. I told him that I was gonna stay back with Emilio so we could finally catch up. He told me to enjoy and asked me to meet them later for dinner. I said I’d text him and we could figure it out.
Emi and I were having so much fun. He introduced me to his friends from work, and we were roasting each other as per usual. Honestly, I didn’t really feel like going to meet Seb for dinner. I wanted to get dinner with my friend. I mean, I came to Comporta to visit my friend. I texted Seb and told him I was gonna do dinner with Emi and we could meet up tomorrow.
Omg… He was like, super not happy about it. He wasn’t being mean… but just like very…. disappointed. He was fine that I wanted to get dinner with Emilio, but didn’t understand why we had to wait until the next day to see each other. He kept offering to pick me up after dinner. Honestly the more he pushed, the more I pulled. I just wanted to have dinner and call it a night (and go to sleep in the bed that I was supposed to be in). It really annoyed me… Also, the entire text convo was in Spanish, and I was like really tired of google translating different variations of “IT’S FINE I’LL SEE YOU TOMORROW.”
Whatever, I went back to the little guest bedroom in Emilio’s house. It wasn’t the most stunning, gorgeous, perfectly decorated room like I was in at the villa. But it’s where I wanted to be.
The next day Emi took me to the coolest beach. If you follow my Instagram and watched those stories of me fighting for my life trying to stand up paddle board…. this is that day. What Emilio didn’t tell everyone when he hijacked my phone is that we were chugging Casa Migos before that. Anyway, I went in the water for a bit, when I got out, I had a whatsapp notification.
Jamie
JAMIE
Jamie is still talking to me? (didn’t expect that). ew.. chill- why did I get so excited. That was not very ~cool girl of me. (Eeeekk!)
J: Hows comporta Nayomi
Me: Hey! It’s been… a whirlwind!! (How do you say a Spaniard fell in love with me in one day?). On the beach now, just took a dip. How’s london? Missing me already? (joking emoji)
J: Haha I sure do. London is decent but I’m ready to come back now (yawn emoji)
Me: Shame you don’t come back tomorrow…
Basically, I was leaving Comporta to go back to Lisbon the next day, so I could wake up there and take my early flight to Rome the following morning. If he was in Lisbon, it would have been idealllll, because then I could’ve just stayed with him instead of an Airbnb… and we could’ve ………………………….. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You know what I mean?? Is this making sense?
Comporta —> train to Lisbon —> Lisbon for one night —> Morning flight to Rome
Anyway, he was at Carnival in London and his flight to Lisbon got in a few hours after my flight left. So we were like just missing each other. Whatever, we exchanged some very flirty texts… a bit spicy now that I’m going back and reading….
J: Well I need to see you before you leave Europe that’s for sure
Me: Yeah yeah, I’ll believe it when I see it
J: Believe it and feel it
…
The best thing about maturing, is I really don’t believe sh*t guys say anymore. Not in a jaded way, but…. I just don’t believe words. Especially words that I want to hear. Now, if I guy tells me something I wanna hear, my brain goes- great. prove it.
Anyway… that was a detour- back to Sebastian. This is his blog after all.
I was exhausted after a day of swimming and being in the sun. I had actually planned on going to dinner with Sebastian and co. (they were going to Comporta Cafe, which is like this high end place that’s apparently amazing). But I really needed a nap. I told him that I would meet up with them after dinner! Seb picked me up from Emilio’s place and took me back to the villa. They were blasting Spanish music on the back patio, dancing, drinking, smoking cigaretts.’ His friends hugged me like they hadn’t seen me in a week. They were SO warm and kind. Seb kept holding my face with both hands and kissing me. He poured me a glass of wine and I sat down and watched them dance (like actual dancing not metaphoric dancing). It was wonderful, just watching this really beautiful group of friends enjoy themselves and have fun. I felt really lucky to be a part of it. (It felt like I was watching one of those flashback scenes in Money Heist…). Seb comes and takes my hand and pulls me up. Ohh.. I’m not a bad dancer by any means, but I don’t know if I can keep up with actual Spaniards. They were so good, so effortless. Seb was twirling me around, singing to me, kissing me. At one point, they put on Flamenco music, and Seb and one of the other guys start dancing together. They were kind of goofing off, but it was still amazing. The combination of the clapping and stomping… the way they held the rhythm. Every movement was so intentional… so masculine… so… seductive… wait… this is really f*cking hot. I stayed at the villa that night.
The next morning I wanted to get back to Emilio’s place early to say bye to him before he left for work (since it was my last day). Seb dropped me off and said they would pass by later in the afternoon to say their goodbyes. I realized I had left a few of my things at the villa and asked him to bring them when they came.
The whole gang pulled up in the Jeep a few hours later. Seb packed up all my things in a little bag. He was quiet, I could tell he was really sad. I told them all how nice it was to meet them and how much I enjoyed spending time with them. I couldn’t thank them enough for their warmth and hospitality. They told me they can’t wait for me to visit.
Shortly after, Seb texted me.
S: “Me he puesto triste, no me gustan las despedidas (heartbreak emoji)
He tenido mucha suerte de conocerte, mis amigos y yo te queremos mucho y te esperamos en Madrid con los brazos abiertos. Organiza pronto el viaje, mi casa es tu casa.
Que tengas muy buen vuelo, gracias por tu sonrisa, por tus besos, tus bailes y por darnos tu felicidad.
Un beso y un abrazo gigante, escribeme cuando llegues a Italia (prayer hands emoji, heart emoji)”
(Oh- did you think I was gonna translate that for you? No… you’re gonna have to copy/paste into google translate like I had to. For the ~experience. Shoutout to my Spanish speaking readers though.)
…
Oh my God…………… that was the nicest f*cking message. My heart…….
Anyway, I was really touched… Like I said before, I’m a big words of affirmation person. It means a lot to me when someone takes the time to let you know what you mean to them. It was also nice to know that as much as I enjoyed spending time with them, they enjoyed spending time with me.
But… I also knew that if the feeling was 100% mutual… I’d be feeling different. I would die if someone I was head over heels for sent me that message. Seb had so much of what I want in a partner. He was wonderful. Kind, romantic, affectionate, successful…. But, I can’t explain it… there was just something missing. A spark… and I feel bad because I think it was only missing on my end...
But some things are just out of our control. Trust me, if I could choose who I felt a connection with, my ass would be sitting pretty in Madrid right now. Sweet, cool, successful guy that adores me, fun group of friends, vacations in Ibiza…
But I still wouldn’t feel fulfilled. None of those things would make me happy if I wasn’t genuinely connected to the person I was with. And I know when I really like someone… like really, really…. I will want to fall asleep next to them every night. And I will want to wake up next to them every morning. I guess you could say I’m a romantic ….
Todo o nada.
Dating 101 Key Take Aways:
1) It’s easy to get swept up in the idea of someone, their lifestyle, or how much they like you… but you have to be in tune with how you feel. Trust your gut, it knows what’s right for you.
2) Don’t believe words, believe actions.
