*Mason, 29- The Surfer
Pros:
Tall
Fit
Adventurous
Nice
Cons:
Kind of ugly/hot
Chemistry was just okay
No fireworks
So guys… There’s a Nolan part 3 coming…. but, we’re gonna take it back for a sec. I realized it's been a hell of a long time since we did a good, old fashion, online (pause) dating (pause) story. And I’ve gotta stay true to my roots! Remember when I would give a rundown of a guys profile?? How fun was that!?
So there are actually a few stories I need to catch you guys up on. One of them being… The Surfer.
Funny enough, I remember the day I met Nolan for the very first time, I was talking about my date with the surfer that I had the next day. So consider this story, a blast from the past.
So the surfer and I matched on Bumble.
His profile honestly wasn’t giving much. Not in the sense that hee wasn’t giving, more like he just didn’t put that much effort into his profile. You know when guy’s don’t really have any prompts or anything really indicative of their personality? He just had some basic info and some fire pictures.
Hmmm… Mason…. Let’s see…
First pic: Fun surfing pic.
It was super hot. He had brown kinda long surfer hair and looked like he knew what he was doing. Riding the wave… Lol… I feel like that’s something a non-surfer would say. ~Riding the waveeeee UUEHHH ahahaha.
I’d ride him like a wave.
Bio: 190 cm (a little over 6’2)
Umm… I have mixed feelings about this. I mean I adore a tall brunet but… I feel like this info should have just stayed in the height section. Like it didn’t need to be included in the bio. It’s giving kind of try hard. Like was there nothing more interesting than your height to put in your bio?… hmmmmmm… das suspicious.
MOVING ON!
Job: Marketing
Hm.. vague but okay…
Second pic: A picture of him holding a surfboard under a palm tree.
The body was bodying. The abs were abing. The tan was tanning. He had a fun black bucket hat and sunglasses on. It was giving tropical surfer bro. I loved the bucket hat and sunglass combo.
Third pic: Another shirtless pic… It looked like he was hiking.
He was looking down and his face was kinda in a shadow… so in all three pics I couldn’t really get a good look at his face. But he was fit as f*ck I can tell you that much.
Age: 29
Good enough.
Languages: French, German, Italian, English, Spanish
Cool, you and everyone else that lives in Europe. I feel like I used to be so impressed when people could speak a million languages (especially because I’m awful at them), but this has become kind of a common thing… so now I kinda just shrug and am like, “nice.”
Okayyy, well… I didn’t get thatttt much out of his profile but he seems cute and adventurous so, it’s worth a conversation for sure.
(F*ck Bumble for making me write first.)
Me: Hey you (Surfer emoji, wave emoji, hang loose hand emoji)
M: Heyy Nayomi (hang loose hand emoji)
M: How are you?
Me: Fine thanks! Just a busy time with work so I’m finishing pretty late these days
We had the ‘what do you do for work’ conversation which is always riveting (sarcasm intended). I honestly can’t even remember exactly what he does, but it was marketing related he was between Zurich and Lugano.
He asked if we could move the convo over to Whatsapp and asked for my number. As always, loved the initiative!
M: Hey, Mason here (Hang loose emoji)
Me: Hi!
M: U free tonight (maybe too late for u), tomorrow or friday for a drink? ahaha
Wow! I realllyyy liked that he made plans immediately. An eagerness to see you is always a good sign.
Me: I can do tomorrow!
M: Sounds good
Me: So you don’t live in Lugano right?
M: I'm often between Zurich and Lugano
M: Do you miss US?
Me: Honestly not really… there’s some things I miss, like some American foods, and obviously my friends and family. But I’m pretty used to living away from them, so if I miss them, I just facetime them!
Me: And you? Are you Swiss? Sorry I didn’t get thaaat much from your profiled (teasing emoji)
M: Yepp Swiss but I lived abroad for a while
M: Do you speak Italian
Me: Mason I have many talents, but languages just aren’t one of them (nervous laugh emoji). Can’t compete with your 5.
M: Uhh excited to experience your talents
OOP. I know I set myself up for that and I 100% wanted him to think it- but he didn’t have to say it. I’m getting low key f*ckboy vibes.
YOU: weLL wHat DiD yOu eXpeCt…
Okay guys- can you just let me live my flirty gurl life. You’re supposed to be on my side.
Whatever, so great, we had plans for tomorrow!
Or so I thought… *eye twitch
The next morning he texted me.
M: I forgot that tonight I have a dinner at 8 pm, so i can only join afterwards if it’s not too late for you
Annoying but he let me know early enough so I wasn’t mad. Anyway I made plans with friends and said he could join afterwards if he wanted.
M: Finished now- too late? (joking emoji)
M: After dinner tomorrow?
I sent him back a picture of a pizza.
Me: Pizza and wine night with friends
Me: Yeah I can do tomorrow. But can we do earlyish? Like 8 or 8:30? It’s my friends last weekend in Lugano and I wanted to meet up with some friends after drinks. (Also in case my date was weird or whatever (joking emoji)).
I mean I was fine with rescheduling. Things come up, we accidently double book (I’ve done it), whatever, stuff happens... But now he’s gotta fit into my schedule. I was free yesterday for a date. Today I can squeeze you in.
M: Sweet 8:30 pm sounds good
Me: Okay do you have a place in mind?
M: Porto bello
How freaking fabulous! My friends were supposed to get drinks at Porto Bello!! Now I don’t have to walk or taxi after the date to meet up with my friends.
Porto Bello is a cool restaurant right on the lake where all the boats are docked. It has a laid back yet trendy vibe, average food and good drinks.
So I got off work kinda late and hauled ass to touch up my makeup and change to get there on time (10 mins late. CPT.)
So anyway, I walk in and scouted him sitting at a cute little table for two. It was late March so the nights were still a bit chilly and the restaurant had these really aesthetic fire lamp things that were great for the ~ambiance.
He spotted me walking towards him and smiled and stood up.
Ohhh… hm, hm, hm.. lemme inspect.
He gave me the usual Swiss three kisses on my cheeks.
M: Hi, you look beautiful.. wow
He was warm and had a really welcoming energy. He seemed even taller in person.
He also had the most surfer vibe ever. The way he talked, his voice, gestures… everything. He was the human embodiment of that stoned turtle from Finding Nemo. The next thing I’m gonna say… I do not mean for it sound mean, bc the last thing I wanna do is get on the internet and criticize the way someone looks… but … like I said before, I couldn’t see his face that well in any of his pictures. Don’t get me wrong, he was definitely hot, but like… ugly hot. Which is a thing! Like Javier Bardem, Adam Driver, Pete Davidson?? You know what I mean? Omg Jake Johnson who plays Nick in New Girl. Idk, google it if you need more examples, but ugly hot is a thing.
I’m not gonna go into specifics on what I didn’t really like but, I feel like if there was just one picture of his face on Bumble I could have mentally prepared for this. Also, I’m just more of a face girl. Like face over body any day. So for any guys reading this, if you think you need to have a super fit body, you really don’t. To each their own… some girls go crazy for the fit bod, but I die for like a well proportioned face, nice eyes and a good smile.
Anyway, now that I’ve secured my ticket to hell…. (I’m really not trying to be mean guys, ugly hot is still hot. I’m obsessed with Javier Bardem and he’s married to Penelope Cruz, so ugly hot guys definitely pull). Regardless- it’s not all about looks anyway.
Okay let’s dive into this date.
He ordered me a drink and we got to talking. He was really engaging and nice.
We talked about our experiences living in/near Lugano. It’s always different for the people that are from there. It’s one of my favorite places on earth, but it’s also a small town so I get wanting to leave and live in other places. He told me he spent a few years studying in Australia which is when he got into surfing. I’m sure those years were formative because his personality was extremely chill, laid back Aussie vibes.
Me: So where’s next? What’s your next surfing destination?
M: I’m going to Sri Lanka next week with my friend
Me: WHAT!??
Me: I’m from Sri Lanka!! No way, what a coincidence.
M: You are?? No, really?
Me: Yeah I was born in the States, but my family is Sri Lankan.
Me: Where did you think I was from (laughing)
M: I don’t know, I just didn’t think Sri Lanka
(Sri Lankssssss…. what they come like that????)
Guys- OBVIOUSLYYYYY I’m thinking this is a sign from God or something because I’m Delulu af. He matched with ME- a Sri Lankan Princi girl, a week before going to Sri Lanka.
……………………… I meannnnnnnnnnnnn………………….
He starts listing out the cities he’s going to and telling me all about his itinerary. Omg it was so exciting. I was sharing some of my favorite Sri Lanka stories, we were really vibing. We both got another drink and kept chatting the night away.
M: I wish I could stay longer, but I have a hockey tournament in the morning, so I can’t stay out too late.
This tournament was apparently in the Swiss German part of Switzerland so he had an early morning, since they had to drive there.
Me: No worries, it’s fine! Like I said, I’m meeting my friends later anyway.
M: But I can’t wait to see you again. If I wasn’t gone tomorrow I’d already want to see you.
So he pulls out his calendar app and asks what my schedule looks like.
M: How’s Sunday? Are you free?
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Btw our date was on a Friday. He’s so eager to see me again this is so cute.
Me: Yeah! I’m free! Sounds good
He literally blocks off the day on his phone. Wow, the stars are aligning. Could this be the guy I take to Sri Lanka?? (The delusion is strong).
I’ve always said I would only take ONE guy with me to Sri Lanka. It’s an important place for me and I don’t wanna introduce multiple guys to family and friends there. (It’s not in the culture).
Or tell my future husband that I’ve brought other guys there. Nono, Sri Lanka is reserved for THEE guy.
Whatever, anyway- the physical chemistry was getting hotter… he was holding my hand. I somehow almost fell off my seat. Not sure how that happened… Oh, I think I was trying to inch closer to him and scooted a little too much, but he caught me.
Between the hand holding, and story sharing and giggling and the warm fire that was toasting our cheeks, it was a very romantic night, and I was really into it. I was laughing, and we were kinda leaning into each other and he placed his hand (huge hands btw) on my cheek and kissed me.
It was nice. Really nice.
So nice that we kept on kissing throughout the night.
M: Damn…. You’re filling me up with testosterone (laughing). I feel like I’m pumped for my game tomorrow.
We were both laughing.
Then I realized- Oh shit, I’m supposed to meet up with my friends.
So my friends (Julia, who was visiting once again lol, and my friends Leo and Fiore, absolutely incredible people, 10/10, obsessed with them, would highly recommend to any single girl in the Lugano area), were supposed to come to Porto Bello.
I might sound like a huge a**hole, but I texted them like “Hey! Date is going GREAT. I’m having so much fun. We’re making out so don’t come yet or if you come, stay away from me (laughing emojis)”
I swear these are like really close friends so it wasn’t offensive.
Of course they gave me a shit for it, in the way that friends do.
As it got later, Mason was saying that he should get going soon, but would wait with me until my friends got there. Which was really sweet and gentlemanly of him.
I texted Leo… “Everything going okay? Are you guys taking care of Julia?? He has to leave soon so you guys can come now (laughing emojis)
He texted me back a picture of them drinking.
”It’s going GREAT. We’re having so much fun!! We’re not gonna make it until later”
-_-
Well played, Leo.
Honestly, that was really funny.
Of course they did come. They even briefly met Mason! Fiore even did that thing where he does all these different accents so perfectly. It’s spectacular.
Shortly after, Mason said his goodbyes. He was perfectly kind, nice to my friends, sweet with me. He kissed me on the cheek and said bye.
I was really excited for the second date. Maybe there was something there.
The next morning………………….
He texts me a photo of him with a cast on his leg and crutches.
M: I don’t think we can meet up tomorrow.
OH F*CKING SHIT!
Me: Noooooo
M: I’ve broken my leg :/
M: All good though
Me: Are you okay??
M: But yeah just so you know (nervous laugh emoji)
M: Yess all good thanks!!
Me: Oh no… and your surf trip Sri Lanka? :( I’m so sorry!
He sent me a voicenote. “I guess you pumped me with too much testosterone, I went too hard ahaha”…. lols. He said it was a bummer about the trip but thankfully he had trip insurance and would postpone it to after he recovered. He fractured the bone, so he’d need surgery. He also said how disappointed he was that we couldn’t meet up for our date.
Me: No worries, take your time and recover, we can always meet another time (kissy emoji)
We texted for a few weeks after our date. My mom was visiting and I had a busy period at work so I wouldn’t have really been free even if we could meet up.
M: How’s it going with your mom? Hope to see u soon once my leg gets a bit better.
Awww, so sweet.
Me: My mom is fine! Honestly haven’t been able to spend a lot of time with her since I’m working so much. After this event I’ll have a lot more time.
Me: Yes definitely, rest up so I can see you soon!
M: At mine or yours (cheeky tongue out emoji)
Lol, he is definitely a f*ckboy.
Me: Wherever! I can kiss it better (kissy emoji, joking emoji)
…
M: Hi Nayomi, what’s up? I’m home chilling these days and resting the leg. Let me know if you wanna pass by one of these days (kissy face emoji)
I had like a week long event at work I was heavily involved in planning so I was fulllllly booked up for the next 2 weeks. He was really encouraging and sweet throughout it.
Me: 2 weeks ago I was making out with you on a fun Friday night. Now I’m at a work dinner and you have a broken leg. Life. (upside down smile emoji)
M: Hahahahh so true- Life changes so quickly
….
M: Saturday evening? U can come to my small airbnb and take care of me ahaha
I had a race to watch at Monza on Saturday sooooo… we settled for the following week.
Whatever, 3 weeks of flirty texting go by and we finally made concrete plans to see each other! Yay! Because of his broken leg, he couldn’t drive, so I offered to go to him. I had to take the train from Lugano to Locarno so we decided early on that I’d spend the night there so I didn’t have to take a train at night by myself on the way back. Safety first ladies.
So I went over to his little airbnb. He met me outside and was really sweet. He had his boot removed but he was still on crutches, poor thing. Still looked fit though. We ordered a pizza and opened a bottle of wine that was in the fridge. We talked… well, I talked, a lot about fate, karma, my dad’s heart attack. Like deep things. He kind of just nodded along (very much like the finding nemo turtle!!). It felt like I was going through his dating profile all over again. I just wasn’t getting much out of him.
After eating we picked a movie and moved to the couch. Oh a couch. Where all exciting things happen. We put on Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery, which was great, but I actually missed parts of it because I was … distracted.
Did we have a steamy make out on the couch? Yeah obviously. But at what cost?? The truth is… I wasn’t feeling it that much. Like there was no soft lead into the kissing. No laughing, or enticing conversation. No buildup. No real connection. He just turned and started kissing me. I feel like I was just going through the motions. Sometimes while I’m doing something, I’ll actively be thinking like, “Do I like this? Am I having fun?” I wasn’t hating it, obviously, or else I would’ve stopped. I think I was just looking for whatever sparks there were on the first date. I’ve said before that it’s a common thing that first dates go really really well and second dates fall flat. Well, this would be an example of that. I guess those sparks went out before they turned into a fire.
Anyway, I stayed over as planned bc I wasn’t gonna take a train home in the middle of the night. The morning was fine. Again, kind of underwhelming. For me at least. He’s a nice guy, but, I don’t know, there was something missing. I mean I wasn’t gonna totally write him off. People have off days. My game plan was to keep texting and see if it went anywhere. I was pretty level headed about it.
M: Did you get back safe?
M: Thanks for coming!!
Me: Yes (smiley emoji) Safe and happy!
That was nice of him to check up on me.
That was on May 6th.
A full 20 days later, I hadn’t heard from him.
Like I said, I wasn’t dying for him or anything, so I really wasn’t holding my breath. I actually shouldn’t have even written him after bc… silence speaks volumes. But I thought I’d be friendly.
Me: how are you healing!?
M: Hii Nayomii
M: All good and you?
M: Sorry super busy with work these daysss
Oh God, not the ‘busy with work’ excuse.
Spare me the liesssss, pleaseeeee.
No guy that actually likes someone doesn’t text them for 20 days. A guy that really likes a girl wouldn’t even go two days. Bffr (be f*cking forreal).
Anyway, I knew from that message exactly where this was going.
And the answer was, nowhere.
Dating 101 Key Take Aways:
Cut your loses early. If you’re sensing their isn’t interest from your side, or theirs, just drop it and keep it moving.
If you haven’t heard from someone, the silence speaks volumes.
