*Carlo, 29- The Worst Guy I’ve Ever Met
Pros:
Approached me in person
Good at laundry-related storytelling
Cons:
Weirdly obsessed with my appearance (in a bad way)
Insulted me
Trash-talked my friend for no reason
Casual racism??? HATE
Sore loser energy
Insecure
Wierdo
It dawned on me that… the dating ~experience isn’t just about the people you actually meet and go on a date with. It’s the entire process of feeling someone out, seeing if you vibe, deciding if you even wanna meet them in the first place. Those experiences are just as important for your dating development. Also, what’s more relatable than sharing hot goss (gossip) about the red flag that icked you the hell out.
And TBH, as you may have noticed, I haven’t gone on that many bad dates. I mean sure, maybe it starts fine and fizzles out, or we just weren’t the best romantic match, but it’s rare I meet someone I don’t like at all, on a human level. My screening process is quite good.
But as we know, there are some F*CKING WEIRD guys out there. Not all guys. I really do believe that. But there are some weird ass losers out there. And I’ll tell you about my displeasure in meeting one.
Carlo had messaged me on Hinge. I was looking through my likes as I always do and he had commented on one of my pictures.
Carlo: What if I told you I know where you used to live?
Uhhhh… is he being funny or is that creepy?
I moved out of Lugano like 2 years ago. How does this person, that I don’t know, know where I used to live?
Anyway, I guess he was clever enough to get my attention, bc I responded.
Me: I would say I don’t believe you!
Carlo: I do I swear
Me: And how would you know that
Carlo: [Via address apt. X]
………………
Wtf. That is where I used to live! Hm… I was kinda laughing but also kinda in shock.
Me: Haha no way how’d you know??
Carlo: I live there now. I remember seeing your name on the mailbox and the door before they changed it.
Me: Ohhhhh, no way!
Okay lemme look at this guys pics bc if he’s cute I’m about to make a visit to my old crib. (jk)
Ehhhhhhhh… heeee’s fine. He was at the attractiveness level that an amazing personality and a sense of humor would make him really endearing and even hot. But a bad personality would make him ugly.
He worked in Pharma.. very cool and very Swiss.
Average height, 5’11. That’s totally fine.
Not a lot of info on his profile about hobbies and whatnot.
Honestly I wasn’t that interested, and besides living in my old apartment, he wasn’t really wowing me with conversation either. He kept messaging me and I stopped responding. I don’t even think it was really intentional. I had other guys that caught my interest more, and a girl only has so much time! I guess I technically ghosted him but… that’s the name of the game. Good or bad, online dating has made people a commodity. We don’t have the time or energy to send rejection texts to every single person you have an introductory chat with that you’re just not that interested in. I mean of course if you’ve been talking for a whileee, then yes it sucks getting ghosted, but… I’ve been on the giving and receiving side. The truth is, you’re being directly compared to the other people they’ve matched/are talking with. If they think they can find hotter, smarter, funnier, or more interesting… they aren’t messaging you back. It’s just how it is. IT’S OKAY. I also feel like people take it personally or hard when it’s done to them but… I’m pretty sure, EVERYONE is guilty of doing it.
So anyway, I hadn’t spoken to him since, and didn’t think twice about it. I had just moved back to Switzerland a month before and was still settling in.
About two weeks later, I went out for dinner with some friends after work. We went to Fermata, duhhhh. My fav. And as we left the restaurant, we walked past a group of guys sitting at a table outside.
“Nayomi?”
Huh? who dat?
I didn’t recognize anyone I knew from this group. It was also dark but… I really didn’t think I knew any of these people. My girlfriend and I were walking arm in arm bc it was a cold February night. We just looked at each other in confusion.
"Nayomi! [my old address]”
I still couldn’t make out who was talking in this large group of guys. I’m also super blind in the dark. I was squinting and searching. Then he appeared… smoking his cigarette. Looking even more mid than he did online.
Carlo: We matched on hinge… you ghosted me
OHH
His friends were OOohing and Ahhing.
“No way bro you know her?”
Carlo: Yeah, I live in her old apartment
“And now you’re randomly seeing each other now? No way that’s crazy.”
(At me): “Why’d you ghost him??”
Mmmm okay, being put on the spot about ghosting someone is a bit uncomfortable but I was laughing and going along with it.
Me: ahh… I forgot (nervous laugh)
…
Carlo: (walking up to me) Okay this is a sign we really needed to meet though
Me: I guess it is
Carlo: I almost didn’t recognize you in person. You look so different from your pics.
(honestly I can’t remember if he said I looked better in my pics or different from my pics, but… he meant it all the same).
…… ummmm…. Sir?? Are you okay?
Okay I thought that was weird af. I mean…. even if you think it, why would you say it??? Especially if you’re trying to ask someone out. And clearly you DID recognize me b*tch, cuz you shouted my name twice at a crowded restaurant.
Rule #1 of dating: Don’t insult the person you’re trying to win over.
Also, it just felt like… kind of a power move? I ghosted him, and he wanted to make me feel bad… ?
I was thinking, I worked an entire day, went straight out for dinner, ofc I don’t look my BEST, but -
HOLD UP. Why am I even justifying myself or how I look to someone I look better than, even on my worst day.
Anyway, I blinked. Processing... trying to figure out if he's joking or just actually that dumb.
Carlo: So should I get your number? You’re not gonna ghost me again, right?
Me: No, I might block you though (joking, obviously)
Now this could have been such a cute start to a romance if he wasn’t a dick…
I gave him my number and left, still arm and arm with my friend. We were just loling like… okay that was random. On the walk back, I just couldn’t shake off this grimy feeling… like … Eww why did I give him my number? I mean, not just bc of how he looked but the way he acted.
Everything happened so fast and I was really thrown off by how rude he was.
Why did I even give him my number?
I guess it was just a mix of all his friends being there, me feeling awk… and I don’t know, maybe a small part of me thought he made a huge social faux pas, but maybe he wasn’t an actual bad guy? Maybe he said something stupid without thinking? We’ve all done it. Maybe he has a severe case of Asperger’s?? Not saying that to be mean or offensive but… I just don’t know who in their right mind would think that’s a socially acceptable thing to say out loud.
By the time I got home I had a notification from him.
Carlo: Carlo
Me: ❌❌❌ blocked !!!
Carlo: Dont underestimate my stalking game
Me: Hey I know where YOU live, you don’t know where I live 😌😌
The next day he texted me while I was at work. I saw his name pop up and kind of rolled my eyes. I still couldn’t shake off that icky feeling.
But… dare I say, I actually enjoyeddd this conversation?
Carlo: haha fr. Oh Lawd where do i begin. Was it the overly intimate elevator that juuust invades your personal space limit or the tiny entrance when you get in the building that you liked more.
Carlo: Not to mention i feel like a criminal when i do my laundry outta my spot sneaking in a la pink panther. I got owned one by the elderly senora from the 3rd floor 🤣
Okay now THIS is a conversation!
I was dyinggggg. I could relate to every single thing he was saying. Btw- something you may not know is that in a lot of (older) buildings in Switzerland, you have designated laundry slots and share 1 machine with the rest of the building (sometimes 2 or 3 if you’re lucky).
Me: Omg …. When I first moved in, I got my time slot confused, and this old man left me a super aggressive note saying I was uncivilized and it’s not how things work in Switzerland ………..
LOL… true story. So I totally got what he was saying about sneaking around to do his laundry. My time slot was in the middle of the day and I was in school, so sometimes I had to sneak around too. (Before you judge me, I had a 3 hour slot once a week).
Me: Omg the super talkative woman on the 3rd floor that doesn’t stop talking ? 😂
Seriously I would be late for class at least twice a week bc I accidently crossed paths with her in the hallway. I would literally try to hide from her. It brought back funny memories.
Carlo: Yesss🤣🤣🤣 same here .. he came at me gestapo style waiting by the washing machine.. then came his back up the boss senora.
I was laughing so hard. I knew exactly who he was talking about. I felt like we lived the same experiences.
Carlo: Getting used to the freezing bedroom in winter and loud ass elevator was a thing too
I was at work and was pretty busy so I stopped responding. But I have to say I was down to continue to convo after work. Maybe he wasn’t so bad after all, and we got off on the wrong foot.
Anyway, I had plans to meet up with one of my old neighbors after work. We were good friends when I lived in the building. He had built a gym in his garage and had a few friends that always came over to work out. I hadn’t seen him since I returned to Switzerland (like I said, just about a month earlier) so I said I would come do a workout with them.
Of course I told him about my encounter with his new neighbor. I asked him what he thought of him since I had mixed feelings. He said he didn’t know him that well, but he seemed fine.
“Actually, we’re right next to his garage unit. Sometimes I see him coming home from work while we’re working out.”
I’m like, “no way!” The unit right next to his is Carlo’s. That’s a coincidence!
Since our conversation that day went well and I hadn’t had a chance to respond to him yet, I decided to text him after my work out.
Me: Guess where I am
I sent him a picture of his garage door (lol)
Carlo: Whaa
Carlo: Why?🤣
Me: Stalking you .. but you didn’t show up 🤷🏽♀️
Me: jk, I was working out next door
Carlo: Had to make some modifications to make that bitch ass parking box work as you can see
?? No I really didn’t see. I had no idea what he was taking about. Also that seemed unnecessarily aggro…
Carlo: U go to the donna (women’s) only gym?🤣
Me: No hahaha. The parking spot next to yours
Me: Your neighbors with their garage gym 😂 I mean literally next door
Carlo: U kidding me?🤣🤣 That pathetic bench it looks like some ghetto african pop up gym
……….. what the fuck. Okay, so he’s not just annoying he’s actually a terrible person.
First of all, what the hell was that racist ass comment? Disgusting. Secondly, why did he feel the need to knock down my friends gym. I’M CLEARLY THERE USING IT. And it belongs to my FRIEND. Don’t insult my friends you f*cking rude weirdo. Also, what was so funny about the women’s only gym?
Me: Okay MEAN 🤨 (MAJOR eyebrow raise on that one)
Carlo: You're gonna have to come by sometime peep how i furnished this place 😊
No the f*ck I won’t.
Carlo: Come on how can he work out there? Even free time (the local gym) is missing some machines for me
Me: Him and a few of his friends have been working out and doing just fineeee
Me: doesn’t have to be fancy to work
Honestly… FUCK him. This guy SUCKS. There was really just no need to shit on my friends gym and it just put a SOUR taste in my mouth. He might not be the most attractive guy, but his personality is certified, 100% UGLY. There is really nothing uglier than being mean.
Carlo: Speaking of freetime.. i ran into what is supposedly ur ex. Blond dude.. and tbh Couldnt believe such a mismatch in leagues could even exist 🤣 y'all dont even play the same sport
Me: How’d you know he’s my ex
Carlo: Cuz we talked in the hallway when he came to see chiara (my old next door neighbor).
Carlo: But that was before. I mean im here for a year already
Ummmmmmmmmmmmm….
Senti- stronzo, pezzo di merda
Omg he really just pissed me off so bad I just broke out my italian curse words.
Listen, my ex was many things. Many, many things. But he was hot! Objectively a good looking person. (How else do you think I stayed in a toxic relationship for 8 years 😵💫??) So I think this guy is just a hater. Also… you don’t need to put another person down to lift me up. Weirdo.
I didn’t respond. I was just disgusted. DEEE-SGUSTED. First you insult me, then you insult my friend, insult the entire continent of Africa, and insult my ex who isn’t even my problem anymore but it was just unnecessary. The hater energy was such a turn off. And looking back- that one conversation that I thought went well? The one where we bonded over annoying apartment quirks and crazy neighbors? I was taking it with humor, but… he was just complaining the whole time.
The next day he texted again.
Carlo: Bedroom is freezing sometimes at night tho
okay, and? …
I didn’t respond.
The next day, he tried another time.
Carlo: And check how i used this 😊 (He sent me a picture of the shoe rack at the front of the house.)
Lame, weird, boooring. I didn’t respond.
This guy is just not coming back from this. There is no recovering your image. You’re a certified hater and you radiate negativity. Nono, pls stay far from me!
(pouty face) I guess his widdle delicate ego couldn’t handle getting ghosted again…
Carlo: So how old are ur hinge pics? I barely recognized you irl. Crazy the power of makeup
…….
HAHAHHAHAHHAAHAHHAHA
This guy….
is diabolical.
Crazy the power of makeup??? looooool. Him being condescending and trying to put me down bc IIII wasn’t interested in himmm is …. sending me.
Good God, this is like those weird incel guys that can’t handle rejection and they love bomb you or shower you with compliments and then when you reject them they go “uR a sLuT ANywAy!” “Ur uGLy, i NeVEr eVen LiKeD yoU !!!!!!!!!” >:(((
I don’t think i’ve ever been more cringed in my life.
You may have noticed that at no point here have I criticized his appearance, even though I very much could. And it’s not really to protect his feelings at all bc.. he sucks… But actually, I’ve never in the history of this blog ripped on someone’s appearance. For sure how they acted, what I liked and didn’t like, but… I’m not in the business of making people feel bad. At least not publicly. I definitely talk shit with my friends so I can’t pretend to be a saint.
But TBH, I wouldn’t feel good insulting certain features about him that would put down or discourage other people. Especially because I know tons of guys that have those same things, and those guys are AWESOME.
For example, I have one friend who’s husband is lowkey high key balding, his hair is thinning for sure. And I’ve known him for years, so I also knew him when he had a full head of hair. Guess what? He is SUCH a charismatic person, the LIFE of the party, I am dying laughing every time I’m with them, and he is an incredible father to their kids.
My childhood best friends husband? Short king. He’s also insanely smart, really funny, crazy well rounded, sporty and cool and also a doctor?? He has it all.
What about my gentle gangster? He was still in his weight loss journey and wasn’t super fit when we met (he is now), and always joked about how he’s a fatty at heart. When he found out my parents and I were gonna taxi to the hospital for my knee surgery, he said I was crazy. (I don’t have a car in Switzerland and my parents were just visiting). He drove us to the hospital, visited me and brought Connolis, and dropped us off at home when I was released. A gem of a human.
So you see… none of these physical traits are deal breakers, but being an asshole is.
Okay back to my story-
I was gagged by his rudeness and texted my friend and old neighbor, Ito.
We were already texting about how I was sore af from our workout.
Me: Your neighbor is a loser btw
Ito: What did he do??
I told him about how he was such a hater and was insulting me, his gym, my ex, and then me again when I didn’t respond. (lol)
Me: he’s just a weirdo, I blocked him
(Obviously)
Ito: Fuck
Ito: I think he doesnt deserve to hide behind the label of "weirdo", no no! That is dickhead behavior 100%
Me: Oh yeah he’s 100% a dickhead and I was gonna write about him in the blog and use him as an example of what not to do lol
(this is on February 26th 2023 btw)
Ito: Would be funny if he reads it
Me: He doesn’t know I have a blog
Me: I didn’t accept him on insta
Me: Thank god
Feb 27th, 2023
Ito: Happy Monday!
Ito: Coming to train this evening?
Me: Hi! Happy Monday! No 🙁 Julia is coming in tonight so I need to finish cleaning my apt!
Ito: Ooooook
Ito: Have fun ✌🏻
Me: Grazie !! See you soon
Ito: Oh btw my friend has a name for my neighbor after I told him how cringe he was:
Me: Dimmi (tell me)
Ito: Sciupa-figa
Ito: Literally means pussyspoiler
Me: 😂😂😂 LOLL
Me: Accurate
Anyway, I pretty much stopped thinking about this person. I was just happy I dodged that bullet.
On March 4th, Ito texted me again.
Ito: Your friend is a genius
Ito: He locked his keys in his garage box with his car inside
Me: Hahahaha
Me: Karma
Ito: He said you dont look pretty again
………………………… jaw dropped.
Me: Shut up
Me: SHUT UP HAHAHA
Me: No he didn’t
Me: Omg
I mean………. it’s really fine if someone doesn’t think you’re attractive. Like you’re not gonna be everyone’s cup of tea, and that’s okay. I didn’t care that this walking ick didn’t think I was pretty or whatever (lol), but just the fact that he was going around talking about it like a rejected 4th grader was comical.
Ito: I said how can you say that?
Ito: I said you saw those eyes and that nose?
That was veryyy sweet and we love my neighbor for defending me.
Ito, <3.
Me: Omg is that how bad he handles rejection ?
Ito: Whatever I just left
Soooo…… that’s the story of the worst person I’ve ever met.
Anyway, you wanna know something wild?
As I was writing this blog, I had to dig deep in my texts so I could find the messages with Carlo to put here. While I was copy/pasting, I accidentally “reacted” to a message… (okay two messages.) Oops.
fuckfuckfuckfuck
I quickly undid it.
(my number is different now since I don’t live in Switzerland anymore so maybe he won’t even get a notification or something?? But shit, if I have a new number that means he’s not blocked anymore. Uuuff…)
February 19, 2025
Carlo: Hey Nayomi :)
AH!
BLEHHHHHH (throwing up)
BLOCKED!!!
Dating 101 Key Take Aways:
1) When someone shows you their true colors, believe them the first time.
2) Rejection isn’t an attack on your ego. Take the L and move on. And don’t be a sore loser!
3) There is nothing uglier than being mean. Physical traits aren’t deal breakers, but being an asshole is.
